The multitude of Black men that I’ve witnessed on my Facebook timeline spewing hatred towards Black women is alarming. Many Black men of all ages have been very forthcoming and vehement in expressing their disdain in dating, marrying, and starting families with Black women. These Black men claim that Black women are naturally bitter and our “violent” behaviors make us inferior to women of other races. For this reason, they choose to date non-Black women.
But it doesn’t end there.
I’ve also witnessed Black women defaming Black men on social media. Most complaints involve the Black man not participating in their children’s lives, failing to pay child support, and highlighting their inabilities to be financial contributors in the household.
Regardless if the rhetoric is coming from Black men or women, one thing is certain: these types of Black people have been conditioned to view one another the same vitriolic, inferior, less than human way our colonial oppressors viewed Black people.
Dr. Umar Johnson–Black Activist, Author, and Speaker–expounded on this in a 12 minute video published on Youtube.
Click here to view video.
He elaborated on the “falsified consciousness that was implanted” in Black people by means of White supremacy. Many Black people’s pathological idea of one another was passed down from slavery, which was only five generations ago. As a matter of fact, most of these people still suffer from “Post Traumatic Slave Disorder.”
Dr. Umar discussed how “slavery reversed the natural order of things in African communities. In most cultures, the man is the provider of the family. In American culture, it’s become more common for Black women to be sole providers in the household.”
He believes that Black men and women relationships are failing, and the reason there’s an increase in Black men and women not getting married is because:
- We have been conditioned to work against each other’s natural position in the home;
- We have been taught to hate anything black including our partners;
- We don’t like to share power in the household; we tend to oppress each other.
Based on research, studies have shown that there has been a major decline in Black men and women getting married. Most Black women will get married, but only later in their lives.
However, many Black men are opting to avoid marriage altogether. One reason is because Black men simply aren’t witnessing enough happy marriages, which is putting them off to the idea of marriage entirely.
But let’s make one thing clear: 80% of Black people are married to other Black people. Furthermore, there are very positive, loving Black marriages in existence. The problem is that these inspirational unions are not in the media as often as Blacks with poor relationships are.
Still, we always have the Obama Family to refer to for positive Black family imagery.
According to Dr. Umar, we “must understand how in the natural order of things, our ancestors and God designed our culture so that the masculine and feminine principles can co-exist in equal balance. But when the Black man is taken from the home, the balance is disturbed. Single Black women become accustomed to being accountable only to themselves.”
Consequently, many Black men believe that Black women are too controlling and emasculating, and don’t emphasize practices that encourage partnership and unity in relationships. Also, many Black women argue that Black men are not willing to sacrifice and compromise themselves for the sake of the family’s success.
Nevertheless, most Black couples recognize how White supremacy has annihilated our communities. Therefore, these couples tend to realize the importance of using partnership to overcome the system designed to oppress Black people.
For this reason, Black men and women co-exist efficiently for the family. They teach love, loyalty, unity, and working hard for the necessities of the family.
Dr. Umar is right in that slavery has reversed the natural order of living in Black households. However, there are enough positive Black unions to prove that it’s possible to overcome mental slavery.
Black people don’t have to view one another the way that our oppressors still view us. We can love and teach other Black people, even if they choose to promote racist rhetoric about other their own group. Most times, these people don’t know their history. If they did, they’d be able to rationalize some of the challenges that occur in Black households, and find solutions to resolve them. Instead, they opt to publicly slander their people and glorify other racial groups, which is nothing but a form of self-hatred.
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